Understanding emotions
Why Awareness is Key
by Eve Ekman
Emotion Regulation
Emotion regulation is a common term in the field of psychology which I actually have some resistance to. I think using that term can sometimes flatten the depth of what learning about our emotions can really offer us. Thinking about emotions in terms of regulation, we can sometimes get caught in oversimplifying and thinking to ourselves: “I’m going to down-regulate what feels bad, and I’m going to up-regulate what feels good.” While emotion regulation can be an important skill, I think it’s only one aspect of the larger practice which I think of as “emotion awareness”.
Layers of emotional awareness
The concept of ’emotion awareness’ goes beyond just regulating our feelings; it involves understanding emotions on a deeper level, recognizing how we act in the world, identifying emotional triggers, and exploring the layers of emotions that include our past experiences, perceptions, and beliefs. A lot of our emotional responses in the present moment bring in aspects of our past experiences, perceptions, and beliefs about the world and ourselves.
Through contemplative practices like mindfulness and meditation, we learn that our emotions, much like our thoughts, are multifactorial and influenced by various internal and external factors. They are made up of many inputs. If you think of an example like sitting by a window and reading a book, our attention may dance between the words on the page, the sights and the sounds of the world outside, or perhaps a memory arises or we start thinking about what may happen next. With each of these inputs, we may notice fluctuations in our emotional experience. Perhaps the story in the book is a sad one, the sound of the birds outside is peaceful, and we feel some apprehension about what’s to come later in the day. Our emotions are not just one-note and only triggered by what’s immediately in front of us. There’s much more nuance and complexity. I believe the contemplative practice of building mindfulness of our emotions can help us more deeply appreciate and understand this.
On the other hand, if we’re solely concerned with down-regulating what feels “bad” and up-regulating what feels “good”, we may lose track of the fact that there’s more than just our momentary experience of emotion that plays into our overall awareness and emotional well-being. There’s so much rich information about our past that we learn through our present emotional triggers and reactions. I find it an empowering perspective shift to move from trying to diminish or extinguish our challenging emotions, to instead becoming curious about what we can learn from our whole range of emotions.
Emotion Awareness in Practice
Developing emotion awareness is something that takes time and practice and that we can continue to build throughout our lives. There are many ways to do this. For some people, it may be a part of their meditation practice, a journaling practice, or even part of an art practice.
This exploration of emotional regulation vs. awareness became a key topic in my dad’s dialogues with the Dalai Lama, emphasizing the importance of cultivating emotional balance—a practice central to our secular training program. As a lead trainer, I’m passionate about expanding these teachings globally.
